"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Year of the Goat

Well, well, well.  I suppose it is time I rear my head from the hay feeder and start philosophizing again.  It has only been, what? ... a year?  Oy.  How time flies when the food is good.  How the goat flies when there is an Alpine on their tail ... well, that goes without saying.  So, no explanations and no excuses.  I'm hopping right back in here with all four dainty feet.   Although, with all the food I've been eating, I guess perhaps my feet are the only dainty part left these days.  Ask me if I care?

At any rate, February 19th is just four days away.  Now why, you ask, is this a significant date?  Because, my friends, this marks the beginning of the Year of the Goat!  Let me say that again.  The Year of the Goat.  Oh, wow.  The.  Year.  Of.  The.  Goat.  Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?  "It is the Year of the Sheep", would-be usurping Ovine types spout.  But alas, I say to you, it all depends!  You see, apparently the Chinese word 'yáng' refers to both goats and sheep.  Who knew?  Maybe the Chinese need glasses?  No matter.  Some cultures celebrate the Year of the Goat, some the Year of the Sheep and some define it as the Year of the Ram.  Go figure.  Must be like the difference between Santa Claus, St. Nick and St. Magnus Peanutos.  (Don't ask ... )  Naturally, I choose to celebrate the Year of the Goat and what better time for me to get back to my stump?  Plus the weather is good today and I'm not stuck in the barn with Ella.  Best to get goin' while the goin's good I always say.

Supposedly, if you are from the Year of the Goat, there a 'lucky' things that go along with it.  Lucky colors are supposed to be brown, red and purple.  Brown I can see ... Peanuts are brown.  But red and purple?  The only red is the Goatmother's barn cleaning bucket and occasionally her nose.  The only purple is that stuff she puts on our hooves to keep the hoof rot at bay.  None of those things seems especially lucky to me.  And lucky flowers for the Year of the Goat are said to be Carnations and Primroses.  I've never eaten a Carnation.  They may be tasty.  Come to think of it, I've never eaten a Primrose.  But our weather has been uncharacteristically warm and I saw some Primroses blooming over in the Goatmother's yard.  They might be good.  I'll get back to you on that one ...  And lastly, lucky numbers for the Year of the Goat are the number 2 and the number 7.  Now 2 is definitely not enough Peanuts, so I'm goin' with 7.  Yes.  Seven is a good number.  Feels really lucky.

But what are the characteristics one possesses in the Year of the Goat?  Well, I found some information on this subject, and Year of the Goatees are said to be 'elegant, charming, artistic, gifted and fond of nature'.  So far so good.  They are said to be 'creative and very delicate, their good manners and charms always bringing them many admirers and friends'.  Yes, Yes.  Indeed this fits.  But then it says Goats are 'insecure'.  What?!  'They need to feel loved and protected and are easily drawn into complex predicaments'.  Oh, goat grief.  Well, who wouldn't be a bit insecure about whether or not some stupid Alpine is going to be in one of her 'moods' and decide to slam you?  And, yeah, sometimes those Alpines can draw you in, promising you can have the Peanuts first and without spit or having fallen on the floor or anything.  That kind of thing would turn anyone's head.  And of course it is never true and you always end up T-boned.   But caught up in any promise involving Peanuts like that, wouldn't anyone be duped?  And then it goes on to say that goats 'usually shy from confrontation, pull back when faced with heavy decision-making  and blatantly refuse to take an unpopular stand in a conflict'.  Now, Hold. The. Phone. Louise!!!  First off, do you think I'm stupid?  You bet your sweet bippy I'm going to back off if Ella comes at me head first!  Ain't no heavy decision-making involved there.  I'm gettin' the hay out of dodge before the iron-but-brainless-head comes a crashing.  And what is more, I can tell you that our stand isn't popular with anyone.  We see the Goatmother coming with those orange-handled hoof-trimming shears headed for that stand, and we are all gone in the opposite direction post haste.  There is definitely conflict in the offing and there is no thinking, let alone decision-making, to it.  So, hay, no.  We don't 'shy' from confrontation, we RUN from it, baby!  Warp 7, please, Scotty!  Oy.  Who comes up with this stuff?

Okay, well, there is more, but I've probably bored you enough for one read.  After all, it has been a long time and you're probably out of practice.  I wouldn't want you to 'pull back' from any 'heavy decision-making' about whether or not to read on. 

So with that, until next time (and there WILL be a next time...it is, after all, my New Year's resolution.) I will leave you with this.  Year of the Goat or Year of the Sheep?  If you 'pull back' from making a decision, just remember: "It is the theory that decides what can be observed." - Albert Einstein 
Think about it...


Mrs. Micawber said...

Decidedly the Year of the Goat. In fact I think we should abbreviate it to Goat-Year. Has a certain ring, doesn't it? And it goes so well with Goatmother, Goatfather, etc. etc.

Welcome back! We have missed you sorely. :)

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
Well...who knew someone would still be out there! Long live the Year of the Goat....or the Goat-Year!

Snowcatcher said...

Now see?!? I KNEW there was a reason I was always confused between goats and sheep, the Colorado breeds, anyway. It's not just me. It's a cultural thing. :)

So nice to see you again, Marigold. I have missed you and your literary gems. And who knew you are a Star Trek fan, too?!?

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
I'm sad. No one should get confused between goats and sheep. Are you part Chinese?
As for me, Yes, Bones, I'm a Trekkie! :)

Millie said...

I can't believe anyone would mix up sheep and goats. That's just wrong. I'm with you on running from anyone trying to T-bone you against the barn.

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
Yep. Those Chinese Astrological dudes have some 'splainin' to do. :)