"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Baad House (Part 2)

Someone can be cute and reap all the benefits thereof. Then, in the blink of an eye, it can all go sour on you. Just ask little Mr. Peanut. You see, a day or two ago he was on top. That was a day or two ago. Today? Today he's right down there with the goat berries. Yes, my friends, it is hard to remain constant at those lofty heights.

You see, it seems that one day, some time back, the Mighty Quinn, who loves everyone, was bouncing about in the goat pasture. All of a sudden, the neighbor came driving up the driveway, and the Mighty Quinn ran in rapt joy to greet her. That would have been okay except he was in the goat pasture. The Mighty Quinn did not realize, as we goats do, that there is an electric wire lining the goat pasture. He encountered the wire, was duly zapped, and he hasn't gone near the goat pasture since. But somehow he transferred the negative event to anything having to do with goats. Now I can't say as I'm all that unhappy about it seeing as how this means he won't be trying to herd anything looking even remotely like a goat. However, the goatmother has been very upset. You know that saying, 'When the goatmother ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'?

So, yesterday, the goatmother thought, 'Hmmmmm. If I take the Mighty Quinn in on a leash and then give him lots of doggie cookies, perhaps, in time, he will begin to associate the goat environs with good things'. An admirable plan. Of course this plan did not take into account the totally fractious personality of one little Mr. Peanut. So the Mighty Quinn was placed on the leash and dutifully followed the goatmother into the abyss. As the goatmother reached to open the gate, little Mr. Peanut dashed in with the wings of Mercury on his heels and promptly butted the Mighty Quinn. This in itself would not have been so bad, but yes, you guessed it, he butted the Mighty Quinn right into the electric wire. Oy. Not to mention ouch.

So the goatmother was livid and little Mr. Peanut tumbled from his pedestal. The only thing I've ever butted was another goat! (We will not mention the time I lost control and bit the neighbor for not being forthcoming with the Peanuts. That was, under the circumstances, quite understandable.) Now the goatmother has quadruple the amount of work ahead of her convincing the Mighty Quinn, whom she had hopes of training to herd , that goats are really not from hell. To the Mighty Quinn I offer an old Yiddish saying, "Beser mit a kugn in gehenem eyder mit a nar in ganeydn" Or in English, " Better to be a wise person in Hell than a fool in paradise." To little Mr. high-and-mighty Peanut, I can only say, 'Serves you right, little man!'


goatfarmer said...

Lo how the mighty (not quinn) are fallen.

The Sweet Pea said...

Holy Capricorn, Marigold!!
The Dirty Sisters were sorry to hear about Peanut's tumble from the spotlight...... Bhahhhhaaaa
But, good buddy, I'm glad it wasn't you going to the Baad House!!!

deconstructingVenus said...

Oh this is funny. What are the chances of Peanut butting him INTO a hot wire? I love it.