"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Little Undead Does 'Twilight' (Part 1)

Well, we heard from The Little UnDead. After departing our humble farm, he flew into Forks...literally. Sadly, just after taking the picture below, The Little Ignoramus had a narrow escape with the logging truck you see coming. He didn't... see it that is. Oy. Never, never snap and drive, Little UnDead Dude. Dangerous practice that.

Anyway, if that weren't bad enough, The Little Obtuse One didn't even manage to get a picture of the 'Welcome To Forks' sign. Why, you ask? Well, let's just say when you fly with your eyes closed you tend to miss a few things - like very large signs looming in your path. So, it would seem the camera he was carrying 'bit the dust' in the encounter. Get it? Dead guy? Bit the dust? ...ahem... Okay, well, all I have to say is thank goodness for those wonderful disposable jobs. If you ask me, whoever invented those definitely knew someone like The Little UnMindful.

So back to the story. After the mishap with the 'Welcome To Forks' sign, our cute Little Philistine headed for some place to buy a new camera. What better place than the Forks Outfitters ( reported place of employment of Bella Swan, non-dead heroine). I have to tell you he was pretty darned excited. I can't say to whom the incorporeal arm belongs, but no doubt it was to some other 'Team Edward' zealot. Plus, The Little UnWitting probably needed the support to contain his fervor. At any rate, I doubt the arm remembers the event even if the whole mesmerizing thing didn't work - or at least no one would admit to it if they did. Would you?

Now then, by the time a new camera was obtained, and all was said and done, the day was pretty much spent. So, our rascally Little Moron decided to look for a place to spend the night. Naturally when he saw the sign below he was dead (Ha! 'dead'...I slay me...) set against staying there. No doubt it was run by some 'Team Jacob' devotee anyway.

In the end, The Undead wound up hanging out in a tree for the night. Again, quite literally. No one seemed to mind - or even notice for that matter. Thus the first day of the Twilight Trek came to a close. I suppose we should hope that the next installment is a little less fraught with catastrophe, and we must most certainly hope that The Little UnIntellectual comes back to us in one green piece. After all," "Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." " - J. R. R. Tolkien.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I see that the little green bast@rd
is out and about this time of year!!! His cousin is looking for him!