“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”― Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Is What Happens If You Are Evil

You may recall that at the conclusion of The Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing, the Dark Lord Ellaron, and everything connected with her, was destroyed.  One can liken it to the end of Star Wars where Darth Vadar spins off into space in his out-of-control TIE fighter.  Well guess what? 

The Eye of Ellaron

NASA believes this to be a Nebula ...  but we know the truth of it, now don't we?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing

I know you have all been anxiously awaiting the third, and final, installment of the Lord of the Wings trilogy.  And, I would feel just horrible if I thought I was actually responsible for anyone's bated breath.  So, Hi-Ho Silver!, and on with the story!

Finally having reached the Highly UnWhite Gate, entrance to MoorDoors, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, realized that it was far too heavily guarded by the repulsive and ravenous Urduck-hai.  So the creature, Goatmother, informed the pair that she knew of a secret entrance.  In reality, the tricksy Goatmother planned to lead Frodigold to Fluffy, a beastly giant Woolly Booger whose penchant was to feed on the fluids of its prey, mostly incompetent weathermen.  Once Frodigold had been dispatched and WatWise had fainted from fright, the cherrr-ishhh-ed would again be hers.  In the meantime, the eye of Ellaron searched unceasingly for THE ONE PEANUT. (Probably both eyes searched, but with an evil Alpine, who can tell.)

It came to pass after the fall of HerdnGuard, that a lone Nigerian, having traveled and fought alongside  BooBeard and the band of itinerant Nubians, came forward to claim that Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee could only be successful in their quest if the eye of Ellaron was drawn away from its relentless search for THE ONE PEANUT.  The Nigerian's name was PeanutsRGorn, and he was actually the one true heir to the throne of Equidistant-Earth.  Why any intelligent Nigerian, let alone an aristocrat, should heretofore have been traveling with a band of itinerant Nubians, no one could say.  But Cabrarwen UnderFoot and Goatfather, the Grey, were mightily impressed by his prowess, for single-headedly he had butted back many of the fierce Urduck-hai.  So it was decided that Cabrarwen, Goatfather, the Grey, PeanutsRGorn, BooBeard, the band of itinerant Nubians, and anyone else remaining unscathed by the efforts of Ellaron and her minions, would march on the Highly UnWhite Gate.

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, had reached the secret entrance.  The Goatmother pointed to the entrance and pushed Frodigold forward.  Suddenly Fluffy appeared.  But the Goatmother got more than she bargained for because WatWise was made of sterner stuff than she had anticipated.  Years of fainting had given him the muscles of Atlas and he stilted forth ramming his head into Fluffy.  Fluffy was not killed (rated G for 'general' audiences), but ran away to Florida where the weather is much more predictable.  Frodigold was saved by the courage of her friend.  The creature, Goatmother, realizing she was now in deep goat berries, skulked away silently into the shadows.  Having lost their guide, Frodigold and WatWise were now on their own and the weight of THE PEANUT grew ever more burdensome.  Still they struggled on, and soon the depths of the barn at MoorDoors lay within their reach.

Back at the Highly UnWhite gate, a battle was about to begin.  Seeing his former friends in peril, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, threw aside his allegiance to the Dark Lord Ellaron, and joined the fray.  The eye of Ellaron swung to the gate and the repulsive host of Urduck-hai were ordered forward.

Unbeknownst to anyone, PeanutsRGorn had fulfilled an age-old prophecy by entering the Quacks of Doom and calling forth a ghostly army of ducks ( ancestors of the loathsome Urduck-hai ) who had long ago run, flapping and quacking, from battle.  As a result, they had been cursed to remain in the Quacks until such time as their oaths had been fulfilled.  As heir to the throne of Equidistant-Earth, PeanutsRGorn called them forth to fight.

"Will you fight for the heir?!!!"
" < silence > "
"Will.  You. Fight???!!!!!  What say you???!!!!!"
" Quack! "

By now (Isn't this exciting?), THE ONE PEANUT had taken control of Frodigold.

"It is mine!, my cherrr-ishhh-ed!"

Suddenly the creature, Goatmother, appeared from the gloom and jumped on Frodigold.

"Noooooo!  The cherrr-ishhh-ed is MINE!!!"

They fought.  The creature, Goatmother, grabbed THE PEANUT, tripped (Because she always was such a klutz.), and fell into the abyss that was the barn at MoorDoors.

All that was Ellaron disappeared with the destruction of THE ONE PEANUT.  PeanutsRGorn was crowned and took the throne, which looked strangely like a gold-encrusted and bejeweled hoof-trimming stand.  Cabrarwen and Quinnurman got together because they had always really liked each other, and Cabrarwen had been absolutely devastated when Quinnurman had gone to the dark side.  BooBeard and the herd of itinerant Nubians wandered off wondering what had really happened, where they were going, and what they were going to do when they go to where they didn't know they were going.  The ghostly ducks from the Quacks of Doom, were released from their oaths and wandered back to the pond to begin eating ghostly corn - which in the long run was a lot cheaper.  WatWise GoshOgee returned to the pasture, a hero in every sense of the word, and set about writing his memoirs.  But Frodigold - Frodigold was forever changed, wounded inwardly, beyond repair, by the weight she had borne.  In the end, she sailed west, over the fence, to the Green Havens filled with alfalfa.  And, in case you were wondering, Goatfather, the Grey,  formed a startup computer business and lived to a ripe old age, in front of his computer, until he became Goatfather, the White and could type no more.

Finis.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors

So if you are just now tuning in, you will be hopelessly lost.  Just kidding.  You'll just have to go back and read Part I.  So, then, on with our story ...

Now it happened that simply everyone in Equidistant-Earth began searching for The Partnership - even American Idol (What?!  How many times have you seen obscure people on that show?).  There were those whose allegiance to the evil Ellaron forced them into unwavering resolve.  They would find THE ONE PEANUT.  Frodigold and WatWise stuck to the shadows. (And believe me, it was really difficult getting unstuck.) But each time an enemy drew near, THE PEANUT called to them (much like Wheat Chex call to the Goatfather in the dead of night.)  Ever onward trudged the valiant pair, though the weight Frodigold bore began to take a toll on her delicate countenance.

As ill luck would have it, the leader of the wizardly sect to which Goatfather, the Grey,  belonged, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, was corrupted by the evil Ellaron.  She offered him a position herding all the unsuspecting goats of Equidistant-Earth, and in his lust for power, he was lost.  He began building an unholy, unbeatable army, terrible in sheer number alone.  These were no ordinary warriors, but the most elite eating force on earth, the Urduck-hai.  Fierce they were, yet sadly lacking in intelligence and driven by a wantonness for corn heretofore unknown.  Quinnurman had only to offer them Iowa and they were unquestioningly in his thrall.

Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee now feared from two fronts, that of Ellaron in MoorDoors and Quinnurman at HerdnGuard.

"Wat, ... "
"What?"
"No, Wat ..."
"What?!"
"Oy.  Never mind.  Where are we?  Wait!  Did you hear that?"

Suddenly a grizzly form appeared from the shadows. Frodigold and WatWise froze.  It was the creature, Goatmother.  In reality, she was drawn there by the deep need for her cherrr-ishhh-ed, but it would never do to let these purloiners know.  After all, had they not stolen the cherrr-ishhh-ed from herInstead she feigned friendship and told the pair she would show them the way to MoorDoors.  An unholy alliance was struck.

In the meantime, deep in the forest outside HerdnGuard, an unlikely ally appeared in the form of a tannish ball of fuzz with legs - Cabrarwen UnderfootCabrarwen, having heard of Quinnurman's fall to the dark side, set about trying to persuade the vacuous BooBeard to launch an attack on HerdnGuard.  BooBeard, long having given up piracy in favor of leading an itinerant band of Nubians, had long dwelled within the shelter of NoHorn forest. Spurred to action by Cabrarwen's persuasive and eloquent pleas, BooBeard and her minions started fervently toward HerdnGuard and promptly forgot where exactly they were going and what exactly they were supposed to do when they got to where they didn't know they were going.  Cabrarwen redoubled her efforts and set about redirecting the hapless horde. Much repetition and rolling of the eyes was involved, but eventually the band reached HerdnGuard and managed, somehow, to bring the citadel to its knees.  The fact that sheer bulk was involved goes without saying.  Einstein was right.  The energy of the material IS indeed equal to the MASS of that material times the speed of light squared.  ( E = mc² )  (Although nothing remotely approaching the speed of light occurred in this case.)

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, unaware of all that was being done to ensure their progress, continued their arduous journey ...

Please stay tuned for Part III, Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Lord of the Wings (Part 1)

Thanks to my friend, Mrs. Micawber (whom I bet didn't know she was really a Muse), and due to not being able to leave the barn (because even though they said it was supposed to rain, it is snowing again), I have decided to turn my hoof to writing something a little different.  I shall spare you the explanations and simply cut to the chase as I present to you:


The Lord of the Wings

We begin our story eons and eons, and just skads of years, ago in a land known as Equidistant-Earth.  The Dark Lord Ellaron has come upon THE ONE PEANUT, a five-to-a-sheller (What?!  This is a work of fiction.) to rule over all Peanuts.  The ONE to rule them ALL.  But the evil, dark Ellaron, fascinated one day by her own reflection, managed to lose THE ONE PEANUT. 

Time passed and it came to be that an innocent-looking woman, walking along one day, looked down and noticed something.  Little did she know that THE ONE PEANUT wanted only to use her to find the way back to its vile master.  The woman placed the found object into her pocket, but its dastardly influence began to change her unnaturally.  Soon she was turned into a twisted creature known only as The Goatmother.  She was a slave to THE ONE PEANUT, calling it her cherrr-ishhh-ed.  But THE ONE PEANUT was not to be denied, and one day the creature, Goatmother, also lost the cherrr-ishhh-ed.

Eventually, THE ONE PEANUT came into the possession of Frodigold, a lovely, highly intelligent, and exceedingly courageous young goat, dwelling happily in a beautiful part of Equidistant-Earth.  Frodigold was informed by her wizened computer-wizard friend, Goatfather, the Grey, that THE ONE PEANUT was evil and must be destroyed.  But THE ONE PEANUT could only be destroyed by throwing it into the depths of the barn at MoreDoors, where it would be consumed by odious Orcmice and subsequently 'eliminated'.  Soon, Frodigold was joined by her loyal friend, WatWise GoshOgee, and the Partnership of the Peanut was formed. Thus began their fateful journey.

Please be sure to stay tuned for part II,  Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Cheerful In Spite Of It All

Since Wednesday's Words of Wisdom occurred on Thursday this week, it only makes sense that being cheerful has to come on Friday.  I may be late, but at least I'm systematic.  So, what to be cheerful about amidst all this white.  Let's see now.  Though there have been some who were obviously quite confused by the weather ...


... and some that wanted in where it was warm ...

(I do apologize for the blur, but at least you can tell it is a bird.  This little fellow went around to each window in the house.)

And though our beloved goat toys are buried ...


... I grudgingly admit it is beautiful ...


Of course there are some who seem to manage cheerfulness, despite the cold.  Like this Fox Sparrow ...


... and this Spotted Towhee ...


... and the Varied Thrush taking full advantage of those apples still left on the tree ...


But the Few and the Faithful aren't too thrilled at having to navigate the deep snow ...


... and then, exhausted, sit like frozen decoys ...


I suppose we can be cheerful and thankful that 40 degree temperatures are supposedly on the way ...

And there is a bit of happiness in seeing the warm glow of light as frigid night envelops the world ...


... and we are safe and warm within.  But even though I am supposed to be cheerful, I'll leave you with this metaphor for my mood ...


Now, be sure to get on over to Planet Penny, here, and see what others are managing to be cheerful about this week!  And do try not to trip in the snow.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thursday Words of Wisdom

What?!  Thursday Words of Wisdom?  I do have an excuse:


This is sort of what it looks like now - minus the blue sky.  Because, actually, this picture was taken two days ago.  And though we didn't get the huge amounts that Olympia did yesterday, we still got snow.  And we had a head start.  Last night the weathermen said the snow had stopped, but freezing rain was on its way.  NOAA said, 'mostly cloudy'.  Guess what?  Across the sound they are getting freezing rain.  Here?  More snow.  I guess you could say that it is 'mostly cloudy'.  It just happens to be mixed with white flakes.  Sort of like Boo is black, but if you look closely she's 'mostly black' with dandruff.

Since they said the snow had stopped, the Goatmother decided to laboriously shovel out a place for Cabra.  Why, you ask?  Well ...


... and ...


How does one pee in this?


Veeery carefully.

Of course the Mighty Quinn has longer legs and magic hair.  For whatever reason, the snow just doesn't stick to him.


What?!  The snow doesn't stick to me?  All-rightey then!


Woo hoo!

Oyy-kay.  Definitely not on my list of priorities.  So here's the thing, and Thursday's late Words of Wisdom.  No matter how short or tall you are.  No matter how magic your hair, DO NOT go out in the snow.  Never EVER trust it.  After all, who knows where it's been?

Marigold!  Come on out here!  This snow is just so beautiful!


Put a sock in it, Goatmother!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Few, The Faithful ...


Twelve out of sixty?  Not bad.  Those others?  I wouldn't show my face either if I had caused all this.  Come to think of it, I wouldn't show my face in this, period.