"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors

So if you are just now tuning in, you will be hopelessly lost.  Just kidding.  You'll just have to go back and read Part I.  So, then, on with our story ...

Now it happened that simply everyone in Equidistant-Earth began searching for The Partnership - even American Idol (What?!  How many times have you seen obscure people on that show?).  There were those whose allegiance to the evil Ellaron forced them into unwavering resolve.  They would find THE ONE PEANUT.  Frodigold and WatWise stuck to the shadows. (And believe me, it was really difficult getting unstuck.) But each time an enemy drew near, THE PEANUT called to them (much like Wheat Chex call to the Goatfather in the dead of night.)  Ever onward trudged the valiant pair, though the weight Frodigold bore began to take a toll on her delicate countenance.

As ill luck would have it, the leader of the wizardly sect to which Goatfather, the Grey,  belonged, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, was corrupted by the evil Ellaron.  She offered him a position herding all the unsuspecting goats of Equidistant-Earth, and in his lust for power, he was lost.  He began building an unholy, unbeatable army, terrible in sheer number alone.  These were no ordinary warriors, but the most elite eating force on earth, the Urduck-hai.  Fierce they were, yet sadly lacking in intelligence and driven by a wantonness for corn heretofore unknown.  Quinnurman had only to offer them Iowa and they were unquestioningly in his thrall.

Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee now feared from two fronts, that of Ellaron in MoorDoors and Quinnurman at HerdnGuard.

"Wat, ... "
"No, Wat ..."
"Oy.  Never mind.  Where are we?  Wait!  Did you hear that?"

Suddenly a grizzly form appeared from the shadows. Frodigold and WatWise froze.  It was the creature, Goatmother.  In reality, she was drawn there by the deep need for her cherrr-ishhh-ed, but it would never do to let these purloiners know.  After all, had they not stolen the cherrr-ishhh-ed from herInstead she feigned friendship and told the pair she would show them the way to MoorDoors.  An unholy alliance was struck.

In the meantime, deep in the forest outside HerdnGuard, an unlikely ally appeared in the form of a tannish ball of fuzz with legs - Cabrarwen UnderfootCabrarwen, having heard of Quinnurman's fall to the dark side, set about trying to persuade the vacuous BooBeard to launch an attack on HerdnGuard.  BooBeard, long having given up piracy in favor of leading an itinerant band of Nubians, had long dwelled within the shelter of NoHorn forest. Spurred to action by Cabrarwen's persuasive and eloquent pleas, BooBeard and her minions started fervently toward HerdnGuard and promptly forgot where exactly they were going and what exactly they were supposed to do when they got to where they didn't know they were going.  Cabrarwen redoubled her efforts and set about redirecting the hapless horde. Much repetition and rolling of the eyes was involved, but eventually the band reached HerdnGuard and managed, somehow, to bring the citadel to its knees.  The fact that sheer bulk was involved goes without saying.  Einstein was right.  The energy of the material IS indeed equal to the MASS of that material times the speed of light squared.  ( E = mc² )  (Although nothing remotely approaching the speed of light occurred in this case.)

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, unaware of all that was being done to ensure their progress, continued their arduous journey ...

Please stay tuned for Part III, Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing


Millie said...

This is way too much stress and drama for me. I just need some more grain before the next section of the story.

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
And don't forget the Peanuts.

Hidden Haven Homestead said...

I'm hooked! Buttons is so excited to read the next part she can't sleep.

Mrs. Micawber said...

I too have heard the mysterious siren call of Chex in the night.

Thank you for not being too graphic. I'm sure we'd rather NOT know just how Boobeard and her minions subdued HerdnGuard. Battles such as these are best left to the imagination.

Question: do the Urduck-hai bear the sign of the White Hand (or Foot)? And if so, does it show up or just blend into their feathers?

And how does Frodigold carry the One Peanut? Not in her mouth I hope... such temptation would be too much to bear, even for such a pure-hearted goat as she.

I eagerly await the next exciting installment.

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

An unholy alliance was struck.

What's that old saying...? "The enemy of my enemy, is my friend."

We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls.
~~Robert R. McCammon

Goat Lover said...

I'm wondering what kind of drugs you're on. Ha!

Marigold said...

Dear Peggy,
" To sleep, per chance to dream". :)

Marigold said...

Dear Auntie,
Oh, yes! Aptly put indeed. :)

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
A questioning mind is a good thing. I think. Anyway, I know the Goatfather finds solace in knowing there is someone else in the world who is gifted with the same clairaudience. As for the Paw of Quinnurman, since he is Quinnurman the Brown and white, the mark blends in on the Urduck-Hai. And, about Frodigold carrying the Peanut, well, have you ever seen those pictures in National Geographic of those women carrying water jugs and baskets on their heads? There you have it.

Marigold said...

Dear Goat Lover,
What?! Have you never seen creative genius in action?

Snowcatcher said...

Frodigold is carrying The Peanut on her head?!? Must see pictures! Yes, some things ARE better left to the imagination, but not this!!! :)

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
Well, perhaps after the story is finished and the publicity shots are taken.

* said...

I'm so glad we don't have to wait a year for part three, I'm not sure I could bear it.....creative genius!

Marigold said...

Dear Faith,
Oh, good. I have my audience just where I want them. What was that saying about 'always leave them wanting more'? :)

J (objective observer) said...

Now I await part III with bated breath; however, I am concerned someone or some animal has gotten into something psychotropic.

Weren't there untimely spring-lings coming up a short time ago? The heavy recent snows may have covered up much of the evidence. Or perhaps the goats laced the fresh water drinking supply?

Late night Chex excursions speak volumes. I think those are termed the "munchies."

One wonders.

At any rate, I will be sending drug test requisition forms for all farm residents. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this.

Marigold said...

Dear J,
No one will be home.

denise f said...

I want to know when the book will be published, and Frodogold being doing book signings?

Marigold said...

Dear Denise,
Frodigold is a recluse.